Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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