i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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