ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
