stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
