Having a random hookup so left but love u
Where did you get a picture of my penis
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
