I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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