i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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