we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
