Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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