there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
