yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
and you said cock pushups were impossible
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
