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why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
and you said cock pushups were impossible
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
