he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
