i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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