well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
i now understand why vodka
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
