we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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