this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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