I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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