So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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