I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
