***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
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