idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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