I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
