Plan B is the new Plan A
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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