We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
