Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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