i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Randomize