When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
