I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
