Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
