dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
as a side note pls kill me
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
