i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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