Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
