I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
