My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
