then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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