I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Bring me that man meat
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
