Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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