**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
