i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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