Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
