We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize