At least make sure they are 18
Why
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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