I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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