So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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