i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Shame - the story of my life.
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