Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
