you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Don't tell me you're on acid again
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
