If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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