i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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