It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
