Can i not drive my cunt home
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
