I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
