mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Randomize
