I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
