Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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