This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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