i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
