Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
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