i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
