just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
