Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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