Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
