Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
