I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
